You know what's really important to me? Improving on what I've learned based on my experiences. It's one of my favorite tasks to take on because it means growth and growth makes me happy. Back in October I made a post on Instagram (@myvenussoul) regarding boundaries. I asked questions (the images are listed below) and those are the questions that I constantly ask myself. Why? Because it's important and it's how I stay on course. I'm still discovering and learning to understand my own boundaries. Little by little I'm getting better at honoring and enforcing them without feeling guilty which is what I had experienced in the past. I didn't want to offend or bother anyone by establishing boundaries but at the end of the day do you know who I was disrespecting? Myself and that's not ok with me. My habit of constantly putting people before myself was a recipe for disaster and yes, it led to disaster each and every time. I felt like I was at a dead end but I ultimately decided to just take the plunge and be about me. Everyone else was living based around their wants and needs, so why should I exclude myself from the party? I love parties. Now it's *respect my boundaries or leave* central over here cause there is no wiggle room when it comes to my peace.
While I learn to better respect my boundaries I'm also learning to respect and understand the boundaries of others in healthier and improved ways, which has greatly improved my connections and interaction skills. Realizing that I'm not the center of the world helped a LOT. I'm the center of my world, not *the* world and that's important to keep in mind. I dropped the notion that people were establishing boundaries to wrong me or be rude to me because it wasnt true, all they are doing is setting the stage and either I get with the program or I don't. "Exit stage left."
Speaking of connections, I must admit that throughout this period of growth it has been damn near impossible to keep up with people that lack boundaries or simply don't care, cause I know a lot of people that don't gaf. Some people can be worked with as they are working on themselves but as for the rest leave them where they're at and go about your life. Some people won't be receptive to you establishing boundaries because that's not who they knew you for previously, so it comes off as something negative when it's not. This is hard and in my case I ended most connections that fell under that category because I didn't want there to be strain, to argue, or anything like that. I no longer have the time and I feel no guilt. I say all of this to say that it is so important to put yourself first. Stop being afraid of what others will say or do and just DO YOU. Establish those boundaries, enforce them, and live in your peace. Those that are meant to be around you will be + those that leave, well, the connection just doesn't align anymore and that's ok too.
Protect your peace.
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